Put down the ducky

Tonight I was riding in the car with my sweet family, home from a family dinner. It was delightful, as always and I was fat and happy. The light was incredible. Clouds that changed from bright white to stormy grey-blue in an instant with sunshine weaving in and out of everything. Trees dancing as golden light tickled their branches, their leaves infused with the sun.

Times like this make me wish for my camera, but a little bit not. Tonight I knew that if I had my camera I'd be stuck. I'd be stuck trying to optimize my shot. I'd be stuck behind a camera instead of just drinking in the beauty around me. I'd be stuck making something small that it meant to be enjoyed on the very large scale of life. Like taking something of great significance lightly.

Then I saw them. I think they were poppies. I adore those big gorgeous red red red poppies. They were too far away to be sure from the moving car, but I was pretty certain, and the light was perfect. But we were on the way home. The kids needed to go to bed. Martell needed to pack, as did I. And then there is the fact that I won't be seeing Martell for the next week. So, I did the grown up thing to do and put my family first. And again, part of me longed for my camera and a little time to visit with some poppies. Once the kids were in bed I sat in my chair by the window thinking of those flowers. Wishing for them. As I sat there having the tiniest of pity parties I couldn't help but notice the rich greeny green of the leaves against the now quite grey sky. My light was gone anyway, but I will be the first to tell you that the green on grey combo that you only see in the spring and early summer is one of my very most favorite things. Ever. A token for what was lost? Perhaps. And then another one! Martell called me from outside (taking the trash out, what a guy!) and said "full double rainbow. All the way." Well, it wasn't really a full double rainbow all the way. It was just a part of a double rainbow, but it was lovely. And at last, the realization that my evening was far better spending it here at home with my family than galavanting around trying to get the perfect shot of some silly old flowers. Will there be more flowers? Yeah. Will there be more nights home with my family? Absolutely. And I'd choose that one over the flowers any day.


which is to say...no pictures today. Take that.

What lovely things have happened to you lately?

p.s. I watch sesame street with my two year old. Hence the title.

Apple Blossoms

These blossoms have long since come and gone, but I like to look at them and remember when it was still on the windy side of just right. I don't think it was even that long ago, but it may as well have been for how roasty toasty I've been these last couple of days. I meant to post them earlier with some more shots of them as they opened, but between rain and kids, I never did get those opening shots. I still love these though.

I am behind. I ma supposed to be posting from my photo walks I went on 2 weeks ago, but I want to put this up while it's fresh. Before I'm behind on it too.

A dear friend of mine brought be flowers yesterday. I am always glad to see her, but I'll let anyone in who's bringing me flowers (ok, not really, but anyone I know). I want to write today, and not just put up pictures, but my writing might be a little rusty. I want to write about kindness.

My Grandfather recently passed away. It was time. I'm not upset. I know he is relieved of the burden that his body had become. I know he is free. I know he is happy, and so am I. I know he lived a good life, and that is what this is about.

A result of my Grandpa dying is that friends and help and kindness come out of the woodworks. I cannot tell you how overwhelmed I am by people's basic goodness. A kind word. A hug. A jar full of gorgeous sunflowers. People willing to drive me and my kids to the funeral in a different state. People willing to house my kids and me in their own small home. There are more lovely things that have been happening as a result of other life circumstances aside from my Grandpa's death, and I cannot tell how grateful I am for the kindness of others. The good life they are living.

It makes me wonder if I am that sort of person. I think in my heart I want to be, but I don't think I'm so good at the follow through. I think good, kind, helpful thoughts, but what good does that do if I don't do good, kind, helpful things. In fairness, I do think I do good, kind and even helpful things, but I don't do all the things I think to do. Why ever not? Laziness. I think it is inconvenient. Sure I'd love to drop cookies off at a friends, but I don't want to bother to load the kids up into the car...what? I should be teaching my kids to do good, kind, helpful things. What better way than to do them? How else can I teach my kids to live a good life, than to do so myself? That is what it is about. That is what made my Grandpa remarkable. It is the kindness of others that makes me tear up out of joy and gratitude. It is the goodness of a life well lived that makes death palatable. I want to do that. So bit by bit I'm trying to be better. To teach my kids by what I do. To do the things I think to do. To live a good life.

As a start, I think I'd like to share my flowers with you.

Flowers

 

Martell brought these mums home the day after my birthday. What a guy. In real life they are more purpley, but I kind of like how this exposure turned out even though it's not perfectly accurate. 

Wedding Dress

This is my wedding dress.

This dress was kind of a miracle. I needed a modest wedding dress and I was living in western washington at the time. If you have ever gone wedding dress shopping (or any dress shopping!) there you know that it is next to impossible to find a dress that both, has sleeves, and looks like it came from this decade (I am here to tell you, lot's of dresses had sleeves in the eighties and early nineties). My mom and I were getting pretty worn down looking and I guess she must have told my dad. He found this dress shop in a neighboring town and we checked it out. I don't know about mom, but I had moderate to low expectations. We got there and told them what we were looking for and they had a whopping 3 dresses that fit the bill. I tried them all on. This dress was my favorite of all of them and it fit. I don't mean, it fit, but we might have to take this bit in a bit or let that bit out a smidge, or hem it. It fit perfectly. It was a miracle.

It's been living in my mom's house while we are living the student life. Apartments don't come with a ton of closet space. So while it was living at my mom's I decided the practical thing to do is sell it. So she mailed it to me. I forgot how pretty it is though. Oh my, but it is gorgeous. The fact is, it's still the practical thing to do. I still intend to sell it, but I am taking a few photos of it so I will always remember how beautiful it is. This is my favorite photo so far. I know you won't love this like I do, but I hope you enjoy the photo just the same.

Green Things

I start aching for greenery this time of year. The place I grew up in is green all the time and  a girl can only take a lack of growing things for so long. I have my house plants, of course, bu this time of year I start wishing for something more. So this year I took action. Inspired by some onions that sprouted before I got them cooked up in my dinner, I went to work sprouting the next thing I had handy (the onions rotted). Citrus. Lemons and mandarins. I had big plans for a lime too, but, alas, my neither of my limes had any seeds.

Here are my two healthiest looking plants to date. The lemon (left) is my favorite. It is completely charming. The mandarin (right) is also cute, but just not as. I just started a pumello (how do you spell that?) seed too, but only just today, so we'll see what happens with that one. The success of my citrus adventure is spurring me on to new things. A mango seed (I hear they sprout very readily) and garlic cloves. I planted some kitchen herbs too, but they are not doing so well. sigh. Oh well. I have citrus trees! Aren't they sweet?

Pears

I had an english professor once who used to say "Do the best you can with what you've got". He was, obviously not speaking of photography, but I often think back to that statement.

I have always enjoyed photography most while out and about. I used to take my camera with me everywhere. I love to hike, but I usually do so at a pretty leisurely pace so that I have the time and opportunity to take photos along the way. However, right now I am unable to get outside much. I don't go on walks or hikes because it would be inhumane to take a toddler and a three month old out when it is hardly above freezing...especially when I lost the toddlers mittens. (spring is coming soon, I just know it!) And, realistically, even if it were warmer and I did get out more, I would still have the kids to tend, meaning that my camera might not get the attention I wish it did. So I am faced with an option that never really appealed to me till now. Having a studio. By studio, I mean my kitchen table.

There are advantages to this that were never really relevant till now. Working in my own time frame being the principle one. Another is having more control over my shot. I can control the lighting (kind of...this is still my kitchen table we are talking about), I can make changes and adjustments as much as I want without loosing the opportunity, I don't annoy my husband with how slow I am walking.

The studio approach does, however, present a new set of challenges.The first is that it is easy to do what's been done. To be frank, I think my pears are a bit cliche, although while I'm being frank, I will tell you that I still love them because I love their cute little red freckles (these are forelle pears and they are adorable). Another challenge is the fact that I don't actually have a studio. I have to work when we don't need the kitchen table. I have to work with what light is available there, which is at times challenging. The other challenge, for me, is getting it done during naptime.

But the cool thing about all these challenges is that I'm learning and growing from them. Look, I know this isn't a new concept or anything, but I am always amazed at how challenges end up being helpful. I am learning to see things worth photographing at home. I am learning to look beyond the cliche (sometimes...still working on it, but hey, aren't we all?). I am learning to be more motivated and productive during the short time that is available to me. I am learning to do the best I can with what I have.