Put down the ducky

Tonight I was riding in the car with my sweet family, home from a family dinner. It was delightful, as always and I was fat and happy. The light was incredible. Clouds that changed from bright white to stormy grey-blue in an instant with sunshine weaving in and out of everything. Trees dancing as golden light tickled their branches, their leaves infused with the sun.

Times like this make me wish for my camera, but a little bit not. Tonight I knew that if I had my camera I'd be stuck. I'd be stuck trying to optimize my shot. I'd be stuck behind a camera instead of just drinking in the beauty around me. I'd be stuck making something small that it meant to be enjoyed on the very large scale of life. Like taking something of great significance lightly.

Then I saw them. I think they were poppies. I adore those big gorgeous red red red poppies. They were too far away to be sure from the moving car, but I was pretty certain, and the light was perfect. But we were on the way home. The kids needed to go to bed. Martell needed to pack, as did I. And then there is the fact that I won't be seeing Martell for the next week. So, I did the grown up thing to do and put my family first. And again, part of me longed for my camera and a little time to visit with some poppies. Once the kids were in bed I sat in my chair by the window thinking of those flowers. Wishing for them. As I sat there having the tiniest of pity parties I couldn't help but notice the rich greeny green of the leaves against the now quite grey sky. My light was gone anyway, but I will be the first to tell you that the green on grey combo that you only see in the spring and early summer is one of my very most favorite things. Ever. A token for what was lost? Perhaps. And then another one! Martell called me from outside (taking the trash out, what a guy!) and said "full double rainbow. All the way." Well, it wasn't really a full double rainbow all the way. It was just a part of a double rainbow, but it was lovely. And at last, the realization that my evening was far better spending it here at home with my family than galavanting around trying to get the perfect shot of some silly old flowers. Will there be more flowers? Yeah. Will there be more nights home with my family? Absolutely. And I'd choose that one over the flowers any day.


which is to say...no pictures today. Take that.

What lovely things have happened to you lately?

p.s. I watch sesame street with my two year old. Hence the title.

Apple Blossoms

These blossoms have long since come and gone, but I like to look at them and remember when it was still on the windy side of just right. I don't think it was even that long ago, but it may as well have been for how roasty toasty I've been these last couple of days. I meant to post them earlier with some more shots of them as they opened, but between rain and kids, I never did get those opening shots. I still love these though.

I am behind. I ma supposed to be posting from my photo walks I went on 2 weeks ago, but I want to put this up while it's fresh. Before I'm behind on it too.

A dear friend of mine brought be flowers yesterday. I am always glad to see her, but I'll let anyone in who's bringing me flowers (ok, not really, but anyone I know). I want to write today, and not just put up pictures, but my writing might be a little rusty. I want to write about kindness.

My Grandfather recently passed away. It was time. I'm not upset. I know he is relieved of the burden that his body had become. I know he is free. I know he is happy, and so am I. I know he lived a good life, and that is what this is about.

A result of my Grandpa dying is that friends and help and kindness come out of the woodworks. I cannot tell you how overwhelmed I am by people's basic goodness. A kind word. A hug. A jar full of gorgeous sunflowers. People willing to drive me and my kids to the funeral in a different state. People willing to house my kids and me in their own small home. There are more lovely things that have been happening as a result of other life circumstances aside from my Grandpa's death, and I cannot tell how grateful I am for the kindness of others. The good life they are living.

It makes me wonder if I am that sort of person. I think in my heart I want to be, but I don't think I'm so good at the follow through. I think good, kind, helpful thoughts, but what good does that do if I don't do good, kind, helpful things. In fairness, I do think I do good, kind and even helpful things, but I don't do all the things I think to do. Why ever not? Laziness. I think it is inconvenient. Sure I'd love to drop cookies off at a friends, but I don't want to bother to load the kids up into the car...what? I should be teaching my kids to do good, kind, helpful things. What better way than to do them? How else can I teach my kids to live a good life, than to do so myself? That is what it is about. That is what made my Grandpa remarkable. It is the kindness of others that makes me tear up out of joy and gratitude. It is the goodness of a life well lived that makes death palatable. I want to do that. So bit by bit I'm trying to be better. To teach my kids by what I do. To do the things I think to do. To live a good life.

As a start, I think I'd like to share my flowers with you.